My first encounter with the enigmatic G-Spot was in my freshman year of college. I was chatting my gal pals and doing some in-depth sleuthing of an interaction my bestie had recently had with a new crush. He mentioned to her that he was so good, he’d be able to find her G-Spot right away. This was the first of many times I would hear this: the mystery of the g-spot spoken about in hushed tones by a gaggle of embarrassed teenagers. From a young age, I learned that the conquest of the g-spot was somehow a symbolic measure for how sexually adept these young men were. That, in turn, lead me to believe that I had to find this magic button on myself, otherwise I was broken. If I couldn’t find it, I was mistaken.

It is shape and size of a walnut, located 5-8 centimeters up the front vaginal wall, and it feels immensely pleasurable at the slightest touch. At least, that’s what I was told. I searched for it, but to no avail, and I’ve heard from many women that they’ve had similar (and extremely frustrating) experiences. It was Freud who introduced the notion that women have two types of orgasms. The clitoral orgasm, which he dubbed “immature”, and the vaginal orgasm, which is the kind a sexually mature and well-adjusted lady would have. He asserted these things without scientific basis, but he managed to plant the seed that the orgasm one could achieve through P-in-V sex was somehow superior. The truth is, only a quarter of women experience an orgasm from penetrative sex alone. That means 75% of us are apparently doing it wrong.

The G-Spot, named after German gynecologist Ernst Gräfenberg, is supposedly the elusive erogenous zone inside the vagina that would help us to achieve such a vaginal orgasm. But does it actually exist? This has been a matter of nearly constant heated debate since the term “G-Spot” was coined in 1981. However recently, the topic has really come under fire with the recent study (by Puppo & Puppo¹) in Clinical Anatomy, which states that the G-spot is a term without scientific basis and that there is no such thing as a G-spot orgasm. Instead the study argues that we should use a more inclusive term: The Female Orgasm. It promotes that all women can achieve orgasm through clitoral stimulation. This is not the only study of it’s kind, with the scientific consensus being that there is no anatomical proof for the existence of the G-spot. Even Cosmo, the holy grail for G-spot guides ² backtracked after the release of this most recent study.

This doesn’t stop women from protesting, insisting that the G-spot does exist. In an article, entitled ¹ “Stop Telling Me My G-Spot Doesn’t Exist”, Nicola Jane says, “I am getting pretty tired of experts telling me I’m not having powerful orgasms”. She added that “The Puppo study is just another in the long line of telling some women that their experience is all in their heads.” She ends, stating that the G-spot is “just like any other physical trait—it varies from person to person.”

This is ultimately where I land—somewhere in the middle. I believe that the female sexual experience is something nuanced and beautiful. I don’t think it’s helpful to create a hierarchy of sexual enjoyment, but rather we should engage in a multi-faceted understanding of sexuality. Sex & sexuality are subjective experiences, and everyone is different. I am not here to tell you that your experience isn’t real. If you believe Clitoral is Queen, that’s fine too. The most important thing we often forget that the biggest sexual organ in your body is actually your brain, and this is especially true for women. Thinking sexy is feeling sexy. G-spot or not, either way you’re equally sexy and liberated, and you can have just as much fun regardless of your particular anatomical endowment. So let’s put to rest the endless quest for the magic button, and enjoy whatever it is feels best for us.

Resources
1. Anatomy of sex: Revision of the new anatomical terms used for the clitoris and the female orgasm by sexologists
2. Stop Trying to Make Vaginal Orgasms Happen, They’re Not Going to Happen

What do you think about the G-spot controversy? Let me know in the comments below.